The Ottawa Citizen Editorial 2006-05-29 says that "very many male abusers think irrationally about their families", and that "there are very few programs to help abusive men whose partners are leaving them think rationally about their futures".
The Editorial goes on to say: "But as to why some men - some previously abusive, some not - react homicidally to the end of a relationship, Ms. Stewart says she can't be sure."
Well, thanks to my own family crisis, I now understand exactly how those men were feeling, and I have figured out why men do violent things. The assumption that most men in such situation were "abusive" is completely wrong.
Fortunately, there has been no homicide in my family's case (yet), except for my own suicide attempt. To my surprise, an acquaintance of mine told me that he had an almost identical situation to mine, except for the suicide attempt. There has been no history of abuse whatsoever by either of the men against the respective wives, towards whom there was nothing but love.
Somehow, when a woman finishes child bearing (with the man's sperm) and child rearing (with the man's labour and/or money), coupled with the decrease in her sexual desire, the wife seems to feel that there is no need for a husband. This thought leads first to the wife's leaving the husband no matter what and how, followed by the husband's desperation which may lead to homicide/suicide in some unfortunate cases, regardless of the existence of previous abuse.
Therefore, before labelling the men "abusive", the women's psychology of such irrational behaviour must be analysed, studied and explained, possibly by the change in their biochemistry, i.e., neurotransmitters and/or hormones associated with menopause.
