Today marks the first anniversary of my suicide attempt.
In February 2005, my spouse of 18 years suddenly told me that she no longer loved me and she wanted to separate. I did everything possible to change her mind, but she insisted that it was too late. She gathered her possessions, rented an apartment, and left the house in June 2005, abandoning me and our 3 kids (16, 14, 12).
About 12 years ago (1994), my spouse started to say that there was surveillance at the office. She believed that there was a microphone hidden in the house and in the car, feeding private conversations to the police which in turn told the colleagues at her office, so everybody at her office was talking about her private life. She heard voices from the ventilation system at her office. Whenever neighbours talked, she said that they were talking about her boss.
Over the years, she had alienated her friends, colleagues, neighbours and even relatives due to her suspicion that they were spying on her. Finally, she cut me off because I was not believing her stories enough. I did not know until I sought help from a government counsellor that her condition (paranoid delusions, auditory hallucinations) is psychosis, possibly schizophrenia (paranoid type (295.30)). I suggested, advised, asked, demanded, and begged her to see a doctor, but she absolutely refused any medical help.
She is perfectly normal in every other aspect, and is still making a good salary as a public servant. While I was doing everything to help my spouse in order to save the happy family, my in-laws turned against me because I was seeking understanding from my spouse's former colleagues and help from health care professionals (including 5 psychiatrists). Even though my in-laws knew the truth, they would rather do everything in their power to hide any mental illness in their family by blaming me for the separation than to help their own daughter/sister. Enormous stress from such unexpected behaviour led me to attempt suicide in November 2005.
Abby, please inform the readers of the importance of mental health, and especially the devastating effect of stigma towards mental illness.
